Sakurairo Hanabi
by Fantasiimaker
Summary: Syaoran thinks he has no chance with the beautiful Tomoyo, so he tries to befriend the frozen eyed Sakura to distract himself. But soon, he realizes the existence of deeper scars and truths inside her. Will he give up and save himself from the pain?
1. Voices

**Author's Note (before we begin): **Hello again, everyone! Well, it's been almost two years since my last story, "Spilling Stars", posted here on I've decided to return with what I first intended to be a oneshot, but it kind of…er…grew XD I think it might be a short story. But then, it may be longer like Spilling Stars!

I'd like to thank everyone for all their support of Spilling Stars, and I hope you all will enjoy this story too! Hopefully my writing has improved. (If not, that'd be shameful xD)

Now, without any further ado, I present:

**Sakurairo Hanabi**

**By Fantasiimaker**

**Chapter 1**

She crammed her hands over her ears, but it didn't really help.

So she pulled on her headphones and searched for something rockish. With maybe a touch of anger. Or sadness. Or both.

She closed her eyes against the afternoon light and tried to meld herself into the music. Breathe. Her mind was racing now, blinding in a blur of redness, but it would pass. It would go away, it always did. Soon. Soon.

She could only hear their voices faintly now. Only background noise.

Their voices.

-----

Syaoran lifted his pencil dully, then dropped it with a soft clatter against his notebook. He felt somewhat guilty that he wasn't paying a bit of attention to the history documentary playing, but then, it wasn't his fault that he couldn't concentrate today. Half the class was asleep, anyway. Damn morning classes.

He glanced quickly at the teacher, then carefully inched his hand into his backpack and retrieved a small meat bun. Ah, breakfast. So much more interesting than…whatever the hell that video was talking about, anyway. He held the bun beneath his nose, inhaled longingly, and poised himself to take a bite.

A loud knock echoed from the door, sending Syaoran's hand plunging back into his backpack. "Damn," he muttered, pressing his face against the cold desk surface. He heard someone open the door and walk toward the teacher's desk. Two people. Some soft speaking, and then one set of footsteps left the classroom.

Syaoran shifted his head to the side. It was a girl.

Her back was to him, but he could feel her stiffness through her posture. New student. She nodded to the teacher and paused, scanning the room for a seat.

Oh, sit here, sit here! Syaoran thought at the empty seat in front of him.

She turned and sat down at a desk in the very back of the room.

-----

At the mid-morning break, she sat on the low stone wall alone, scuffing her shoes lightly against the grass. Syaoran was laughing and teasing Yamazaki about his crush when he noticed her sitting there. Her hair was a light honey-brown and slid to a length just past her shoulders, where it seemed to change color in the shadows.

"What's her name?" he said aloud, half to himself.

"Go find out! Ask her!" laughed Yamazaki, giving him a shove toward the girl.

Syaoran gave his friend a look, then shrugged and went to her.

"Hey, what's your name?"

"Why are you so rude!" Yamazaki yelped. He gave Syaoran's head a smack from behind; outraged, Syaoran caught his hand and whirled him around in fighting position.

In the corner of his eye, he thought he caught something sparkling in the girl's eye for a moment. But it faded when he turned to face her again.

"My name is Sakura." She looked steadily back at him, and he almost looked away. There was something wrong. Her mouth was smiling, just barely, but there was no warmth. It was as though her face was frozen, a steely grey mask. Syaoran shivered.

"What are you looking at?" she asked.

Syaoran snapped back. "Oh, sorry," he said. "I'm Syaoran. Nice to meet you." He held out his hand, but she only stared at it. Flushing and confused, he took his hand back.

"W-well," he stammered. "This is Yamazaki. Yamazaki? Y-yama…" His friend was nowhere in sight. "Oh dammit, the fool ditched me," he muttered under his breath.

Sakura was still looking at him, and this time even the frozen smile was gone. "If you feel uncomfortable, no one's telling you to stick around. Just go."

Astonished, Syaoran stumbled back. She was attacking him for no reason! "Fine, I'm going!" he snapped. "I'm going now! Have a good time sitting on your own!" He whirled around furiously and went in search of Yamazaki.

He didn't turn around again, so he didn't see the color that finally flooded back into her eyes.

The color of pain.

-----

"So she completely rejected you?" Yamazaki laughed as he tossed the calculus book at Syaoran.

"Nothing to reject!" Syaoran roared from the bed as he dodged the book. It bounced harmlessly against the pillow. "Stop chucking things across the room, will you? You're going to kill somebody!"

Clutching a wad of homework, Yamazaki tossed himself onto the bed instead. "What do you mean, nothing to reject? You were trying to make friends with her."

"Well, not anymore," growled Syaoran. "Come on, let's finish this chapter's assignment. The test is this Friday."

"You're right, you know," Yamazaki smiled. "You probably shouldn't be too nice. That's why you're in this predicament with Tomoyo, right?"

"AARGH, SHUT UP!" Syaoran launched himself at Yamazaki and pinned him down against the blankets. "Don't talk about it anymore! I'll take care of it!"

Yamazaki was turning blue. "O-okay," he croaked. Syaoran sighed and let go of his friend.

"See!" twinkled Yamazaki cheerfully. "You are way too nice!"

-----

After they finished their work and Yamazaki left, Syaoran closed his eyes and leaned back into his chair. Tomoyo. The most beautiful girl he had ever known. Not only in looks, oh no, not by far. She was beautiful in almost every category that could be defined by beauty: her kindness was beautiful, her smarts were beautiful, her voice, her dark eyes that flashed when she was excited…

"Oh Tomoyo," he breathed. He almost couldn't help thinking of her lips and her body, but reality pulled him back again. Eriol was popular with the girls. With the guys as well, come to think of it. It was crazy; the kid was good at everything, almost magically so. Plus, he had lived in England, so he was just the type that Tomoyo would admire. A classic, well-rounded gentleman, Syaoran thought bitterly.

Eriol had come to him yesterday. "I know that Tomoyo is a close friend to you," he had said pleasantly. "So I'd like to ask you first: Is it all right if I ask her out?"

"N-n-now?" Syaoran had gasped.

"No, of course not," Eriol had laughed, dismissing that with a wave of his hand. "I'm going to wait until it seems like she's ready. But I really like her, and I'm hoping that she might like me too, someday."

She probably already does, Syaoran thought grimly as he recalled the conversation. I'm just her _friend_, dammit. Everyone kept asking if we were going out because we were so close, but she had kept insisting, so sweetly, that I'm such a wonderful friend, I'm like a brother. In other words, I'm…nothing. Syaoran smashed his hand against his desk in frustration.

I'll never be…

**Tsuzuku - to be continued.**


	2. Stirring

**Author's note:**

Wow, I was sure no one would remember me since it's been so long! Because it seems like there are readers, I've updated extra-quickly this time XD A big thank you to the very first reviewers of Sakurairo Hanabi!

**Medieval Legend15** – hey franny, I remember you! thanks for reading and for the support, I truly appreciate it!

**cherrixwolf** – xD The fluff MIGHT come later, hehe.

**LupineLightning-IllusionDragon** - whoa that's a lot of "please update soon"s! thanks for the enthusiasm!

**pnaixrose - **thank you for the welcome, I'm glad to be back!

**green aura** – thanks so much it really makes me happy to see that I'm remembered by a few!

Note - man, I hate how the formatting changes a bit in the transition from Word to uploaded document on ffnet. If there are some weird-looking things, like squished together words or lines or something, blame the strange formatting xD (and then TELL ME lol)

-----

**Sakurairo Hanabi**

**By Fantasiimaker**

**Chapter 2**

-----

The next day, Syaoran saw her sitting on the wall again at lunch. This time, two girls were sitting next to her and laughing. So. She had found some friends. Not like he cared. Syaoran turned toward the boys' bathroom.

When he came back out, he had been determined to walk by and ignore her. But she caught his eye.

She was looking directly at him.

"You really don't mind if we try some of your lunch?" one of the girls giggled.

Silence.

They both laughed, and one dug her finger into a rice ball and took a bite.

"Ughh, how disgusting!" she cried, flinging the rice to the ground. "There's no flavor! How plain and cold!"

"Just like you!" the other girl yelped gleefully, and the two shrieked with laughter. The girl who had tried the rice shifted quickly to the side, sending the lunchbox flying to the ground. "Oh, oops! My bad!" she gasped in a display of false surprise.

"Ami, you're so horrible!" her friend giggled. The two smirked at Sakura and took off, amused at themselves.

Standing in silent shock, Syaoran watched them go. If Sakura was his friend, he would've chased after them; he would surely have avenged her for it. But…was Sakura his enemy, then? He looked at her, still sitting quietly with her fingers gripping the wall. Suddenly, she seemed to jolt back to reality. Giving her head a slight shake, she came down and began to pick up the splattered rice.

Something clenched inside of Syaoran. No one else was going to get down there and help her. Gritting his teeth, he bent down and took her overturned lunch box.

Without looking up, she grabbed it at the same time.

"Why didn't you just talk?" he said in a low voice. "You should've told them to fuck off! Or ask for help or something!"

Her head rose slowly as she held on to the box. "I don't need any help," she said, her eyes meeting his.

"I think you do!" he shot back, and plucking the box from her, he began to pick up the fallen rice balls. Sakura watched him quietly for a few moments, then continued to pick up what remained of her lunch. They finished the work quickly and met at the garbage can to dump the dirty food.

"Thank you," she said, taking the empty lunch box from him.

Syaoran nodded stiffly. "I have some money. Do you want to go and buy some food?"

"No, thanks." She turned and went back to the wall, where her backpack sat. A dark, lonely mound of books and cloth. Syaoran stared at her back as she went. Then he shrugged and left to find his friends.

"Um-!" Sakura said, turning around suddenly. But he was already gone.

-----

"So," Tomoyo smiled brightly in math class, later that day. "I hear from Yamazaki that you made a new friend!"

Syaoran shot Yamazaki a glare. "That's not really true. You see, I don't think she wants any friends."

"Oh, I don't believe you," said Tomoyo, hitting his arm lightly. Syaoran tingled at the touch. "Everyone wants friends!"

"Well…" Syaoran fished around for a smart retort. "…she doesn't," he finished lamely.

At that moment, the teacher began to order everyone into groups of four. "It's that group research project," Yamazaki reminded, climbing over a desk to join them.

"So who's going to be our fourth?" asked Syaoran.

"Let's ask Eriol! I'll go." Smiling, Tomoyo began to get up. Oh no no no no no, thought Syaoran. I don't want him in our group. It's selfish of me, but I don't want him. See, he's already working his magic on her.

"Li!"

Syaoran looked up. The teacher was calling him.

"Li, will you take Kinomoto into your group? She's new, and I know you've got everything mostly covered, so you can explain to her…" the teacher blabbered on, but Syaoran just stared at him. Yes, he was saved!

"YES!" he cried out, a little too loudly. The teacher stared. Syaoran coughed and tried again. "Er, yes. We'll help her. Come on, Sakura."

He knew Tomoyo would be disappointed, but she covered it very neatly as she held out her hand to Sakura. "Hello," she smiled warmly. "I'm Tomoyo. It's a pleasure to meet you!"

"She's the new student Syaoran met," Yamazaki whispered into her ear.

"Ah, so you've met Syaoran already!" Tomoyo continued on, and Syaoran watched, amazed, as Sakura seemed to thaw a little. Her stiff shoulders relaxed slightly, and she let Tomoyo take her hand as she introduced herself in return. He couldn't believe his eyes. Tomoyo was truly an angel.

After Yamazaki introduced himself as well, the group formed their desks into a square, with the fronts facing in. Syaoran ended up seated next to Sakura, with Tomoyo facing him. Immediately, Syaoran took over the distribution of project topics and which ones to cover. Sakura was quiet, only nodding in agreement once in a while.

"Now, where shall we meet for our first round of research?" asked Syaoran.

"Sakura, what do you think?" Tomoyo prompted.

"I…just got here last weekend, so I don't know this place very well yet," Sakura replied softly. Wow, thought Syaoran. She said something that isn't rude.

"Let's go to the library then!" suggested Yamazaki. "They'll have plenty of research material, and it will be quiet enough to study. Oh, oh, and afterward, let's go get something to eat!"

Syaoran laughed, and the bell rang just as they all agreed to use the library. "Oh, sorry, I have a choir meeting right after school!" said Tomoyo. "Let's decide on the meeting time later. Or…you can just give me a call, Syaoran!" With a smile and a quick wave, she dashed off.

Turning, Syaoran caught Sakura looking at him. She turned away quickly.

"I'm going to go bother Chiharu at her tennis game," said Yamazaki, winking at Syaoran. "See ya!"

Then it was just the two of them, standing in the hall. The sound of elated students escaping the confinement of their classrooms echoed around them. Syaoran glanced at Sakura. She was looking at the wall.

He sighed. "Do you, uh, live close by?" he attempted.

She nodded. "I walk."

"Oh, so do I." Syaoran tried to sound cheery, but the words that came out were empty and leaden. "Let's go, then." No. I'd rather walk with Tomoyo than this cold, unfeeling girl who probably hates me. And why? I didn't do anything to her.

He held one of the heavy double doors open for Sakura, but she pushed open the other one instead. Heaving a sigh, he followed. The bright sunlight flashed off cars on the nearby street and illuminated the trees standing by the school's entrance.

Walking a few steps behind Sakura, he searched his memory. He couldn't quite remember if Eriol was in choir or not. Maybe that was the reason Tomoyo had been so keen to get to choir practice…

"You live in this direction too?" Sakura's voice broke into his tormented thoughts.

"Ah, yeah, I do." Syaoran watched as she swung her bookbag around lightly, the wind ruffling her skirt. "I live just past the park."

Sakura nodded, and they walked on in silence for a little while.

Syaoran supposed that it was his turn to talk now. Against his will, the first topic out of his mouth was Tomoyo. "She's a great person, you know. You should make friends with her. She likes you already, I think."

Pausing to let Syaoran catch up, Sakura murmured, "Hmm. Well, she's nice, I guess."

As they walked side by side, she turned abruptly to him. "You two are very close, right?"

"What? Oh, uh…well, I guess. I mean, we've been friends since elementary school. But we're…..we're not going out or anything, if that's what you mean!"

Sakura seemed to scrutinize him closely, and Syaoran shrinked under her gaze. She started to say something, but stopped herself and walked on. Syaoran had to jog to catch up.

They walked on in strained silence until the park came into sight. Sakura stopped.

"So you turn here?" asked Syaoran, trying to sound chatty. "My house is still a little further up."

"Let's go to the park."

Syaoran whipped around. "What?"

"I said, let's go to the park." Without waiting for his answer, Sakura took off her school shoes and leaped into the sand. His mind whirling, Syaoran found himself staring again. This girl was crazy. Never had someone surprised him so much in such a sort time span.

He watched as she lowered herself into a swing, scrambled back, and let herself go flying. She was like….a trapped bird that had found some spark of freedom. Of hope.

And then Syaoran caught a flash of her lavender panties beneath her skirt.

Immediately, he made a 180 degree turn, blushing madly. Don't be a pervert! he chastised himself. And also, there's Tomoyo, whom I won't think bad thoughts about, either! Furious with himself, he stepped onto the sand and settled into a swing beside Sakura.

Skidding to a stop, she grabbed hold of his swing's chain. "How high can you go?" she challenged.

"Higher than you!" Syaoran retorted.

Sakura stared at him for a moment. Then she pushed off with both legs, sailing toward the sky. They both swung back and forth with all their might, until Sakura shouted, "Do you think you can fly?"

Syaoran glanced at her, panting a little from the exertion. "I don't know, can you?" he called back.

She didn't answer. In an instant, she had pushed herself out in midswing and was plunging high into the air.

She can fly, thought Syaoran in wonder. Time seemed to slow, almost stop, as she floated effortlessly forward with her arms outstretched. Beautiful, he thought suddenly.

Then she hit the ground with a loud smack.

"Sakura!" shouted Syaoran, bursting out of his swing. She was down on all fours, her cheek touching the ground, but she gingerly inched herself up and gave him a rueful smile. There were scrapes all over her smooth skin now.

Before he knew what he was doing, Syaoran was at Sakura's side and wiping the sand from her face. "Ah.." she grabbed his hand to stop him. He was close now, the closest he had ever been to her so far, yet all he could do was stare at her. She looked so surprised and vulnerable, her cheek had been warm….she was a normal person after all.

Suddenly, the two reddened at the same time, and Sakura thrusted his hand away almost roughly. "Don't…don't touch me," she whispered.

"Sorry," said Syaoran. He remembered and turned to her scrapes. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She pushed herself up, but at once she stumbled and fell forward. Syaoran lunged and caught her quickly in his arms.

Oh wonderful, I'm touching her again, he thought as she pulled away. She's acting like I'm some nasty octopus or something.

"Ah, it's just my leg," Sakura muttered, kneeling down to get a better look. Her knee had a large, raw scrape. Wincing, she brushed off a few stray bits of sand.

"You're bleeding," Syaoran pointed out.

"So?" She stood up again, and this time only stumbled a little. But as she stepped into her shoes, she held out her arm unsteadily, and her hand landed on Syaoran.

"I'll walk you to your house," he offered. "To make sure you're okay."

"No!" she cried, snatching her hand back as though he had offered her a snake. "I can get home fine on my own. Just go! Go!"

"All right! I don't need to be told three times!" snapped Syaoran, eyes flaring. She just ached to get away from him, he could tell.

Sakura stopped, turned to him. "Thank you for worrying about me," she said more composedly. "But I don't need your help anymore. I'm sorry for my rudeness, but I'm not the kind of person you would enjoy being with. So please, just leave me alone from now on." Her voice was icy, a glacier threatening to crack open anything in its way.

Syaoran watched as she hobbled slowly away down the sidewalk.

-----

**Tsuzuku – to be continued.**

**Author's note: Hmmmm….why doesn't she want him to come near her house? XD Keep reading and find out! **

**Much love to the commenters! Your encouragement and feedback help immensely.**


	3. Healer

**Sakurairo Hanabi**

**By Fantasiimaker**

**Chapter 3 **

----

The usually muted city library held scurrying footsteps and shouts of laughter on Saturday, as parents hurried to shush their children. Syaoran found his mind drifting away from work again. It was a perfect, sunny weekend, and Tomoyo was sitting right in front of him, bent diligently over a book. Her mere presence made him slightly giddy. He gulped and looked away.

"Syaoran, she's late," frowned Yamazaki, looking at his watch. "You told her to meet at two, right?"

"Yeah, I did!"

"Well, it's been half an hour." Yamazaki closed his book and looked back at Syaoran, who hadn't even touched his textbook yet.

Tomoyo bit her lip. "You think something happened to her?"

"Maybe she got lost on the way," suggested Syaoran.

"What?" cried Tomoyo. "You didn't give the poor dear directions to the library?"

"I-!" he stammered, backing up in his chair. "She…she didn't ask!"

At that moment, a disheveled figure came rushing up to their table, gasping. "I'm…sorry…guys!" Sakura panted, trying to catch breath. Her hair was wildly framed about her face, and her eyes looked slightly puffy. The hand she used to clutch her school bag was trembling ever so slightly, Syaoran noticed. Impulsively, he took her by the wrist and pulled her into a chair next to him, not noticing Tomoyo's eyes shift to him suddenly.

They all sat in silence for a few moments, supposing that Sakura would give some kind of explanation for her tardiness. When no such thing came, Yamazaki was the first to say, "It's okay, Sakura! Let's just get started, shall we?"

Sakura nodded, not really looking at anyone.

When they finished working two hours later, Sakura had still not said anything except a quiet "Thank you" to Tomoyo when she handed her a book, and "No, thanks" when Yamazaki offered her some rice cakes. Syaoran suddenly broke out of his Tomoyo reverie and remembered Sakura's words.

"_I'm not the kind of person you would enjoy being with. Just leave me alone from now on."_

Recalling this quickly filled him with annoyance. Why should he care that she seemed colder now than the first day he'd met her? Why should he care that her thin arms had trembled several times these past two hours, even though the library was perfectly warm? Why should he worry…why should he want to help? She had told him quite explicitly that she didn't want any. Shaking his head angrily, Syaoran thrust several thick library books into his bag and pulled the zipper sharply.

"So!" he headed toward Tomoyo and Yamazaki, attempting to rearrange his face into something cheerful. "What do you guys want to do? Want to head to the café for a bite?"

"Sorry, Syaoran!" Yamazaki cut in at once. "I've got a date with Chiharu, and she'd murder me if I didn't show up."

"You two are going out already?" mused Tomoyo.

"Ah…yeah," Yamazaki laughed embarrassedly, scratching his head. "I asked her last week."

"I'm happy for you, man," said Syaoran, slapping his friend in the back. I want to be happy like that too, he thought briefly, trying not to look at Tomoyo.

"Well, I'm off! See ya guys!" Waving at them, Yamazaki left. Syaoran sighed internally. He was hoping to spend an afternoon with Tomoyo, but now that Yamazaki was gone…well, it was still worth a try.

"Tomoyo…?" he began.

"Umm…I'm..I'm sorry, Syaoran." To his surprise, Tomoyo began to blush crimson. "You see, I…I have a date too. I mean! I think it's a date. Well, he didn't quite say, but…"

"Who?" he whispered hoarsely, even though he knew the answer.

"Eriol," she answered, blushing anew as she said it. "He…we're…we're going to see a play in the theater downtown!"

Syaoran's heart sank. Eriol was wealthy, he knew. That was why he could afford to take Tomoyo to fancy theaters. Those tickets would've cost Syaoran more pocket money than he had in a month, though he would've been more than glad to spend it on Tomoyo. But look at the way she was flushing pink. She was gone.

NO! raored a monster inside him. SHE'S NOT! I WON'T LET HIM!

"Tomoyo!" he grabbed her elbow just as she turned to leave. But he pulled a little too hard, and she tumbled back against him, her back against his chest. Tomoyo stared at him, surprised.

"Please…please don't go," he whispered, not taking his eyes off her. "Come with us. Sakura is new, she needs to see her new surroundings. Come with us and help me introduce her to this place." Come with me, he wanted to add. Just me.

For a heartbeat, neither of them breathed. And then, with one released breath, Tomoyo slid fluidly out of his grasp like water. "I'm sorry," she said again, looking away from him. "I think you're right though. Sakura does need to see the sights here. Since I can't go, will you take her for me?"

Syaoran didn't answer.

Tomoyo waited, sighed, then took off for the library doors rather quickly, her bag banging across her shoulder as she went.

She hates you now, thought Syaoran at once. Why'd you have to grab her like that? Did you think she'd choose you over Eriol? He wanted to sink into the ground and melt into the carpet.

He was about to tell his legs to give out when something sharp struck him in the small of the back. He swore loudly and leapt forward.

Sakura stood behind him, brandishing a book.

"Don't use the sharp corner, you idiot!" Syaoran snarled at her.

She only looked back at him, impassive an expression as ever, until his breathing regulated and he strangely began to calm down. "I'm going now," she said abruptly.

"Wait! Wait!" Stumbling after her, Syaoran let the words tumble from his mouth. "Let's go somewhere!"

"Why?" she snapped without turning around.

"Because! I don't want to go home yet. And…and I know you don't want to either!"

That stopped Sakura in her tracks. She stood quite still, until Syaoran walked up to her and plucked the heavy book out of her arms. "Come on."

The two were halfway to the bus stop before Sakura asked, "Where exactly are we going?"

"Ah." Syaoran froze. "Well…" he smiled sheepishly. "I don't really know. Where do you feel like going?"

"Theater," she said. Thinking of Tomoyo, Syaoran whirled around so fast he thought he felt his neck crack.

"The theater," she repeated, looking curiously at him. "I feel like seeing a movie. Do you?"

At that, he relaxed. "Ah, yeah," he said. "Sure. Whatever."

When they arrived, the lines were packed and Syaoran just managed to get tickets to the movie they wanted. "Food? Drinks?" he asked as they passed the concessions. Sakura shook her head quietly and made for the movie, but Syaoran walked up to the counter and ordered. He came back with two cherry Icees and handed one to Sakura.

"You already paid for the movie tickets," she said quietly, nevertheless taking the drink.

"It's all right, I'm feeling very generous today," Syaoran declared airily. "Let's get a seat in the back."

"Center," she replied simply. "And you know I'm going to pay you back for both. It's not my fault you didn't warn me to bring money."

He followed her without complaint to the center of the theater. Sinking into the soft seat, he heaved a sigh of contentment and stretched his arms across the seat backs. "With your lovely company, you've more than paid me back for both the ticket and the drink," he drawled. He immediately yelped as Sakura delivered a well-placed chop to one of his arms.

"I don't know what I'm doing here," muttered Sakura, staring ahead at the pre-film advertisements scrolling across the movie screen. But as Syaoran looked at her, a tiny smile was tugging at the edge of her mouth. Spotting this triumphantly, Syaoran laughed aloud.

Sakura broke into an actual grin.

"You can smile!" bursted Syaoran loudly, startling Sakura and several people in neighboring rows of seats.

"Yes, I know that," she hissed, glancing around. "Shut up!"

"So…does that smile mean I can ignore what you said last time at the park?" Syaoran asked. He thought surely that he was pushing his luck. And indeed, Sakura had sunken back into her old frostiness; the light had disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"My smile doesn't mean anything," she said shortly. "It's an unconditional reflex of the human body which I have little control over." She took a sip of her Icee. Her brief spark was gone, frozen, but somehow Syaoran wanted to keep going. He watched her sip in silence for a while, her skinny shoulders pulled close to her body. She was curved in a position away from everyone, away from him and from the world. Something had dug the happiness from her, thought Syaoran. That light when someone smiles…she had to have used that light more plentifully at one point. She couldn't have been this hurt all her life.

Hurt. The thought suddenly struck Syaoran as clearly as the ringing of a bell. She was in pain. Maybe fresh, maybe a long aching wound.

But wounds can heal.

Syaoran suddenly poked her in the side with a finger. Much to his delight, she squealed.

"What are you doing!" she gasped, glaring at him.

"That's a reflex too, right?" he was thinking fast. "You know, I was wondering if those reflexes could help you laugh a little more."

Sakura eyed him cautiously, wordlessly.

"Like…THIS!" He suddenly began to tickle her as hard as he could. Like magic, the giggles tumbled from her mouth like a waterfall, and Syaoran grinned evilly.

"No…no…Syao…" Sakura tried to speak between breaths and laughter. "Stop…STOP!" She grabbed both of his hands and clenched down on them tightly with her nails. Syaoran gasped in pain.

They heard a chuckle floating down from behind them. "Teenagers!"

Sakura immediately released him and, with surprising strength, roughly pushed him back into sitting position in his seat. Syaoran looked around, trying to catch a glimpse of her face, but the theater was darkening, signalling the beginning of the movie. Disappointed, he settled back into his seat.

"Why are you being so strange?" whispered Sakura during the previews.

"Strange?" said Syaoran. "I'm not."

"You've been different. Ever since Tomoyo left this afternoon."

He was silent.

Sakura waited, until finally he said fiercely, "So what. I'm free to change as I want. So are you. Don't let anyone or anything force you into something you don't want to be."

At once, Syaoran felt embarrassed. Those words were so cliché, and to come out of HIS mouth? Maybe he really had turned strange in some way.

But as the film began, he felt a warm hand slip into his own.

What's going on? he thought wildly, his heart thudding. He didn't expect this to happen. He didn't expect to come to the movies with her, or buy her drinks, or sit right next to her….and least of all this. This hand, so warm and free, so different and opposite from Sakura. Was it her hand?

He liked it.

And suddenly, his like scared him intensely, and he jerked his hand away. Shocked, he looked down into his lap at his hand, now quite empty, and then across the cupholder to Sakura's slim hand.

She was looking straight ahead at the movie, she hadn't even reacted. Or if she had, he hadn't caught the reaction. It was as though it had never happened. Only, she was now staring very resolutely at the screen, and her eyelashes were moving up and down really fast.

Syaoran sighed and turned away. He had acted too rashly. What WAS he doing here? Just an hour ago, all he could think of was Tomoyo, and now…now he had just created a big mess for himself.

"I think," he heard Sakura whisper in a muffled voice. "I think you should tell Tomoyo your feelings."

"I can't, Eriol already asked her out," said Syaoran without thinking. He mentally smacked himself. That was as good as admitting to Sakura that he did love Tomoyo.

"Just tell her," she whispered softly. "You'll be tortured forever if you don't let her know. Don't put it off until it's too late. Tell her now."

"You're right." Syaoran smiled at her in the darkness. "You're right. I know what I have to do." He got up, leaving his Icee still sitting in the cupholder. "Thanks, Sakura." Bending down slightly, he scurried as fast as he could toward the theater's exit.

When he emerged into the light, his fingers were already clutching his cell phone and dialing out Tomoyo's number.

"Come on, come on, pick up," he muttered, stalking back and forth near the drinking fountain.

"Hello?"

"To-Tomoyo! Um, ah, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Syaoran? Wait, hold on a sec-," He heard her cover the phone and talk to someone, then return. "Syaoran, I'm…we're watching the play right now. I can't be using the phone! Can I call you back later!"

"No!" he exclaimed. "This can't wait, Tomoyo. Please, listen to me. I…I have to tell you something."

In the corner of his eye, he saw Sakura push open the theater door and stop just outside it, one Icee clutched in each hand.

"What is it, Syaoran?" said Tomoyo's voice in his ear.

"Tomoyo," he breathed. "Do you remember when we were talking about the people we liked before, and I told you I didn't know?"

"Yes?"

"I can tell you who I like now."

------

**To be continued in Chapter 4.**

**Author's Note: **I'm sorry, it's a terrible cliffhanger, I know! But as you can see, a few little things have developed by now! Please keep reading, and lend me your support!

-Fantasiimaker


	4. Scars

**Sakurairo Hanabi**

**By Fantasiimaker**

**Chapter 4**

----

Syaoran took a deep breath. "Tomoyo. The one I like…no. The one I love. Is you."

He let out the breath, slowly, shakily. His hand was moist from clutching the cell phone so tightly. There it was. There.

Silence.

"That's very touching," came the voice through the receiver at last, and Syaoran flinched and jerked his ear away as soon as he heard it.

"Eriol?" he hissed after collecting himself. "What the hell are you doing, you-,"

Eriol's voice cut him off in the middle of a rather long chain of curses. "YOU'RE not the only one," he said firmly. "who is in love. I'm sorry, but I can't allow you to ruin this magnificient show we've been watching. Didn't you think how rude, how selfish it would make you appear? Did you think, by chance, at all?"

Burning, Syaoran was ready to retort when he heard Tomoyo faintly in the background, protesting.

"It's all right, we'll end it here," whispered Eriol. "If you have something to say, next time do make sure you aren't interrupting something important. And let me warn you that no matter what you have in mind, I absolutely will not allow you to ruin my plans. Good bye."

Click.

Syaoran swore and slammed the phone down in his palm. That bastard! How could he cut in on his confession like this? He'd completely thrown Syaoran off and now…now, all Syaoran could think of was that Eriol was now closer to Tomoyo than he was. Who knows, maybe that sneaky devil was confessing his feelings to her right now. Yet, part of Syaoran protested that he'd been too hasty. He had acted without thinking. He had forgotten that of course, Eriol would be with her. Stupid, stupid.

Suddenly, he realized that Sakura was still standing nearby, holding the two drinks. "Ah, um, that was Eriol," he explained, stuffing his phone away and reaching out to take his cup. "He…he…cut me off," he finished lamely.

"I see," Sakura said slowly.

"I'm still going to tell her!" said Syaoran defensively. "Just…I'm thinking it's probably better if I tell her in person."

"Right," replied Sakura, turning on her heel and walking away from him.

"W-wait! Where are you going?"

"Home," came the brief and concise reply.

Syaoran stared after her weakly. He didn't have the energy right now to be worrying about her and Tomoyo at the same time. Trotting a little, he stopped a public bench just outside the movie theater. "You go ahead!" he called half-heartedly. "I…I've just got to think for a while. I'll catch up with you."

"It's all right, I won't be needing you," Sakura called back, and she disappeared from sight around the corner.

"Wonderful!" he muttered under his breath as he sat down heavily. So. So. Tomoyo. Oh god, what was wrong with him, that all he could think of was Tomoyo? He clutched at his head with both hands. Love isn't supposed to be like this, right? Maybe he should just give in…as long as she was happy with him, it would be okay….it would be okay…

Yeah right, you liar, his mind taunted him. Why should YOU be the one to give in, when you're the one who has known Tomoyo since elementary school? What right does Eriol have to swoop in so quickly and take her? He's just an arrogant playboy. You'd know how to make Tomoyo happy. You…

Syaoran buried his face in his hands. The darkness was calming to him; it helped block out the monotonous traffic sounds out there, the cars rushing back and forth across the road…he could feel the wind from their speed brushing his forehead. All they knew was the obligation of getting to their next destination, those cars. Could it be possible that seated inside each one was a person, as alive and complicated as himself? He couldn't imagine it…he couldn't hold that thought or any other thought in his mind at this moment, everything was meshing together and graying, slipping…

"Syaoran! Syaoran!"

The call of his name in the distance. It brought him back out of the dark, like a glowing silver lifeline, and he clutched onto it tightly, followed it to the end…

"Syaoran." He opened his eyes. Sakura's voice. She was panting, one hand on her chest to catch her breath. For some reason, she looked sort of blurry to him.

"Syaoran, I…forgot which way to turn about two blocks from here," she said quietly.

"Will you stop quivering?" he croaked, sounding halfway between a laugh and a cough. "You're making my eyes hurt."

Sakura looked at him and started to scramble through her bag for something. A few moments later, she gave up, peeled off her jacket and tossed it lightly at his face.

Syaoran caught it and buried his face it, breathing in deeply, trying his best not to let her hear him cry.

-----

"And here we are again," said Syaoran as they came into sight of the swings and sandbox. "You'll be all right from here, right?"

"Of course!" Sakura retorted. She couldn't believe he'd actually cried. Not that she doubted his ability to make tears, as most people were quite capable of that, but Syaoran hadn't seemed to her to be someone who'd allow others to see him cry. And crying over such a small thing? He was more of a wimp than she'd thought. Standing stiffly apart from him, she kept her eyes on the scrunched up jacket he clutched in his hand.

"Well, thanks for watching the movie with me," he said. "…er…part of it, anyway." He scratched his head embarrassedly. "And…um…about Tomoyo…"

Oh please. Please don't, begged Sakura silently. Just let me go now. I don't want to hear all about your nauseatingly sappy love tale.

"You were right, of course. I can't get anywhere by sitting around and watching. I'm…I'm definitely going to tell her at school, on Monday."

Great. Wonderful. Now let me go. She almost said the words aloud.

"Thanks for your help, Sakura."

There. That was the signal for the end of the conversation. Relieved, Sakura began to walk away in the direction of her house, as fast as her legs could carry her. It was a full five minutes before she remembered her jacket, and she came to a dead stop. Too late, she thought, looking around. He was long gone, and how was she supposed to know where the guy lived? Oh well. She'd have to make do with a different jacket until Monday. Great of him to take off with her favorite one.

And now that Syaoran was out of sight, she wasn't in such a hurry to get home anymore. But where else could she go? No, she'd promised to be back home at-

She checked her watch and cursed quietly. An hour late. She had completely lost track of the time. Gritting her teeth, she set off for her house at a fast jog.

When she got there, she allowed herself to linger ever so slightly on the doormat as her eyes traced the outline of a small pink blossom that had fallen on the ground. Then, convincing herself firmly that to wait would yield worse results, she pushed open the door as quietly as possible and stepped inside.

"Sakura!"

She cringed, and closed the door behind her, not caring about the sound anymore. "Yes. It's me."

"Do you KNOW what time it is?" asked the pale, dark-haired woman standing in front of her. Sakura didn't bother trying to meet her eyes.

"Did you hear what I said?" the woman asked again, dangerously. She leaned in close so that her gaze couldn't be avoided. Sakura caught a hint of alcohol in her breath. She'd been drinking again.

"Yes, Midori," Sakura muttered quietly. "I heard-,"

Crack. Midori held one hand in the air, poised to strike again. "Don't talk back to me in that ungrateful voice," she said calmly. "I want you to go to the kitchen right now, where there are breakfast dishes to be washed. Do not forget to wipe the table as well."

Sakura hurried away, biting her bottom lip until she almost tasted blood. She was careful not to touch her cheek until she was leaning over the sink, turning on the faucet. It didn't hurt, really. It'd just be red there for a few hours. It didn't hurt at all compared to the pain of sharing this house with Midori.

Closing her eyes briefly as she ran warm water over a dirty saucer, Sakura felt something wet sliding at the corner of her eye. Oh no. No, she wouldn't cry again, not here. And just thinking that almost caused her to explode, so she just bit her lip even harder and began to scrub at the dishes with all her strength. Why did Touya have to leave her and go to college? And leave her alone in the house with this monster? Why did Father have to work so much, and when he finally did come home, why was he too tired to do anything about that evil witch? Yes, yes. Anger was good. Anger made her strong.

Father. She almost laughed, had she not been on the verge of tears. These days, he was like an empty shell. Half the rare time he spent at home was spent arguing with Midori, and the other half was sleeping or reading. Sakura supposed he thought she was old enough now to go play by herself. Maybe he didn't remember the days when it was just the three of them, Sakura, Touya, and Father? And the occasional warm visits from Yuki, Touya's friend…those days still had some light in them, but they were the distant, ancient past now. Why…

So why wasn't she at college, with Touya? WHY did she have to be here, with this crushing pain in her chest, these tears rolling down her cheeks that she just couldn't stop now…

The doorbell.

No. Sakura scraped at her tears furiously. Who could it be, right now? No one around here knew their family yet. She stood perfectly still, ears straining against only the sound of water splashing against dishes.

She heard some low murmuring at the door, and then it slammed shut with a bang. At once she turned back to her task of washing dishes. Midori was coming.

Something slapped her roughly in the back and slid down to the floor. Her jacket.

"Who was that?" asked Midori, slowly.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" The words tumbled from Sakura's mouth before she could stop them.

Slap.

"It was a boy," Midori proceeded. "What was a boy doing with your clothing? Where did you go with him?"

Sakura was silent. She knew that whatever she said, her words would be tossed back at her uselessly. No, she was almost done with the dishes. She just had to get out of here. Her hands turned back to scrubbing madly, one after another. Make the plates gleam, Sakura. Don't listen. Just don't listen.

"At his house, were you? Or were you two at some cheaper place? Huh? Do you know what happens to young girls just like you, all the time?" Midori's lips were close to Sakura's ear. "Are you on your way to becoming a dirty little-,"

Thrusting the last cleaned plate onto the counter, Sakura flew toward her room, mentally blocking her ears but the words sliced through her just the same. She'd heard them enough, but each time, her wounds seemed to reopen and bleed again from the fresh attacks. It was no use. She closed the door to her room, tears already obstructing her view, and slid down onto the bed.

-----

Monday dawned darkly and overcast; the sky was filled with heavy gray clouds as Syaoran set out for school. Today is the day, he thought. Be it rain or shine, Eriol or no Eriol, nothing is going to stand in the way of me telling Tomoyo the truth.

And sure enough, about halfway to school, the raindrops began to dot the sidewalk before him. A few minutes later, when his T-shirt was starting to be soaked, Syaoran began to think it was a good idea to start running.

In front of him, a familiar-looking solitary figure swayed in the wind. Grinning, he jogged up to her, now thoroughly wet. "Are you going to share that umbrella?" he asked, already reaching out.

Sakura let the umbrella handle slip from her fingers, but Syaoran's hands were on it before the umbrella was halfway to the ground. Swinging it back up above the two of them, he chuckled. "I know you're really polite and everything, but you don't have to make yourself wet just because I am."

Sakura nailed him with one cold stare, and he was silent.

"By the way," she said as they walked. "How did you know where to deliver my jacket?"

"Hmm? Oh, that. You had a whole list of numbers and addresses in your pocket, and I figured one of them had to be your new house. So I picked the one nearest the school." Syaoran looked proud of himself. "Clever, eh?"

"My contact list," Sakura murmured. "So that's where it went. But what if you'd gotten the wrong house?"

Syaoran grinned. "But I didn't, did I?"

Sakura looked at him oddly, but he didn't care. Nothing was going to mess up his confident mood for today. He was ready ready ready. He had promised himself, as soon as he caught sight of Tomoyo, he'd do it.

"Isn't this fun!" he said gleefully, whirling the umbrella around briefly so that droplets flew from the tips. "I bet you've always wanted to walk under the umbrella with a guy, eh?" He poked Sakura lightly on the arm with an elbow, and he received a sharp blow on the arm which nearly made him drop the umbrella.

They walked in silence the rest of the way to school. It was on the way to first period that Syaoran finally spotted her, near the lockers. Her back was facing him, and she was talking animatedly to someone.

Heart jumping, he quickly prepared himself to call out Tomoyo's name.

And suddenly, he froze.

She wasn't just talking anymore. She was holding him. The guy…Syaoran's heart sank. He knew who it had to be…

Eriol rubbed his cheek tenderly against Tomoyo's long hair; catching sight of Syaoran staring at him, he winked.

Fury and icy despair flared over him, trickled down his back, paralyzed him, blinded him so that he could no longer see where he was going. He quickly lurched in the opposite direction, yanking Sakura's umbrella away and startling her.

"Syaoran- where are you going..Syaoran! Slow down- hey!"

Tomoyo. She was going to hear Sakura's cries. No.

Syaoran whipped around desperately, and just as he had thought, Tomoyo was looking right at him. No…what…why was she smiling? "Syaoran! Hey!" she called out, waving. No. Don't come. Syaoran stumbled back a step.

Desperately he fanned out his arm, and clutched on to Sakura's hand. He looked at her wildly, at Tomoyo, who was nearing him with each step, and back to Sakura.

And so, he did the one thing that made the least sense to him at that time.

He pulled Sakura to him and, awkwardly, tremblingly, kissed her under the rain.

-----

**To Be Continued in Chapter 5.**

**Author's Note: **Wow. Did that come out of nowhere or what! Heheh. I'm sorry this chapter took so long! Thanks for all the support, everyone! I didn't think I'd get that many readers! And yes, I do remember you, xSweEtPanDaBOOx!

I know you might have a lot of questions after this chapter (such as "Who is Midori?" and "Why the HECK did he kiss her?") but, just like for Harry Potter, you'll have to wait a bit until the next chapter(s). Enjoy speculating in the meanwhile!

Thank you all for reading, and please continue to give me your feedback for the upcoming chapters.


	5. Wavering

**Sakurairo Hanabi**

**By Fantasiimaker**

**Chapter 5**

----

His lips were warm, with a fading scent of milk and buttered toast. Warm, warm, warm…and if it weren't for his icy cold fingers crushing her wrist, she might've blacked out from this sudden warmth.

"Ugh!" Sakura gasped out, tearing herself away and immediately bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. Crazy. He was absolutely cuckoo, that nasty idiot. Pervert. Insecure poser. All of these negative labels bubbled up like black volcanic liquid inside her, and each bubble popped before it reached her lips. She couldn't say anything. Her eyes were too busy flaring furiously at him. Why?

Syaoran was looking back at her steadily, not breaking his gaze. Rain trickled down his eyebrows, nose, dripped off his chin. He didn't seem to notice or care. Only his fists were alive, trembling slightly in a tightly determined clench at his sides.

The two glared silently at each other, until Tomoyo's voice broke out, "Syaoran!"

He whipped his head around at the sound, as though he'd forgotten she was there. And suddenly, all of his wild, determined energy dissolved; his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Blinking against the rain, he quietly picked up the fallen umbrella, thrust it at Sakura, and stalked away. As he passed Tomoyo and Eriol, he faced pointedly in a different direction.

There was a pause, and then Tomoyo rushed to the sopping Sakura, still standing there alone. "Are you…all right, dear?" she asked Sakura, taking her cold hands.

The contact seemed to rouse Sakura out of her shock. At the touch, she yanked her hands away quickly and stared at Tomoyo as though she were a snake. Then, sensing Tomoyo's surprise, she allowed herself to relax for a measured amount. "I am fine," she answered stiffly. "I…I'm going now." Eyes sweeping the school grounds without actually seeing anything, she clung tightly to her umbrella and headed in toward the school buildings.

Tomoyo stared after her silently, not noticing Eriol as he carefully watched her face.

----

At lunch, Sakura was perched on the stone wall once again. One hand clutched the umbrella that protected her from the pattering of rain overheard and all around; the other held an untouched sandwich in a plastic ziplock bag. She terribly hated herself for wasting brain power over this, but even with the limited hopes she had for herself, she hadn't wanted to give her first kiss away to any random guy. Really…she hardly expected any guy in the world to desire a kiss with her, which was just as well, as she didn't want to kiss them either, but… Oh, she so wanted to clutch her head in frustration, but both of her hands were occupied. "Dammit!" she whispered fiercely, kicking her legs out over the raincloud-colored wall. Raindrops immediately dotted her shoes, and she damned the raindrops silently.

That scumbag. Complete idiot. Sakura knew he didn't kiss her because he had feelings for her. He did it because his crush was there, and she was with someone else, and lost in his pathetically childish little whirl of emotion, he tried to satisfy his pain and get even by kissing Sakura. This was the logical explanation, she knew already. She knew it. So then, why was she sitting here, stupidly damning the raindrops? Because she had nothing else to do? Yes, maybe that was it. Where could she go? In the warmth of the hallways, the classrooms, there were always groups spread apart and sitting together…groups upon groups, each with their own invisible thread binding them. Who was she to them? Nothing but a miserable loner who wasn't worth the effort to get to know.

Despite these thoughts, Sakura heaved herself up from her seat on the wall. Distastefully tossing her sandwich back inside her backpack, she headed for a building and pulled open the heavy door. A welcome blast of warmth assailed her, drawing her in; she obeyed and followed. As she expected, there were groups, too busy talking among one another to even lift their eyes. Giving a barely audible sigh, she headed down the hallway in search of someplace secluded and quiet.

Many of the classrooms were either filled with people or locked. Sakura discovered one room near the end of the hallway that was dark, but the door opened easily when she tried it. Cautiously, she reached inside and flipped on a light. Aha. Empty. Letting the door slip closed behind her, she crept slowly into the room and set down her damp backpack.

She recognized this room. Looking around, she spotted a familiar lizard cage, and a tank with a turtle inside. This was her science classroom. Maybe she would check on the turtle. Yes. Animals were so nice; they never behaved in crazy, unpredictable ways like humans did. And they were quiet. They didn't yap at you one moment, then pretend they didn't know you the next.

The turtle, sensing movement in the room, clambered against the glass wall of his tank. The scratching sound calmed Sakura for some reason. "All right, I'm coming, Mr. Turtle!" she laughed.

Suddenly, her foot caught on something soft and she plunged forward, cursing as she went. She caught herself on the lab tables and whirled around, eyes snapping.

An arm.

What the hell…!

Sakura's eyes followed the arm under the table, where it connected…to a dark, slumped-over form on the floor.

Tousled brown hair. Syaoran.

"Shit!" Sakura clamped a hand over her mouth and backed away quickly against the counters. What the hell was HE doing here? The insults wanted to stream out again, but her curiosity got the better of her. Crouching down, she edged a bit closer to him. Idiot. She almost wanted to stomp on his stupid arm a few times and be done with it. Or better, those lips. Stamp them a few times with the muddy bottoms of her shoes. That'd teach him, maybe.

One hand clutching a cold metal table leg, Sakura gently poked his shoulder. "Hey. Are you dead?"

Not a stir.

Getting angry, Sakura leaned as close as she dared to his ear and whispered loudly, "BOO."

Syaoran's eyes flew open. Catching sight of Sakura, he jerked upright, banging his head loudly against the underside of the table. "AH, mfrjllmgg!" he muffled his curses with a hand, eyes watering in pain. Sakura eyed him, feeling somewhat satisfied, as he crawled slowly out from under the table. "What is wrong with you, woman?" he demanded sleepily, pulling upright with a gigantic yawn. "Does my getting some sleep interfere with you in any way?"

"Yes, yes it does!" Sakura retorted shortly, surprising herself at her quickness. "You…you can't sleep. Tell me why."

"Why what?" he yawned again, stretching.

Sakura banged her fist down onto the table. "Why did you kiss me?"

Syaoran paused mid-yawn and looked at her. What a stupid expression, Sakura noted as he eyed her critically.

Silence.

Then, he shrugged. "Don't you already know why?"

Sakura gaped at him in disbelief. What…how could he… "How can I know what's going on in your brain?" she snapped. "If you have any brain at all, to do such a BRAINLESS thing."

"Oho!" Syaoran chuckled, though there was no light in his eyes. "Insulting me again?"

"I'm not insulting you! I'm…I'm…I want to know why my first kiss had to go to such a loser!"

There. She'd said it. Her cheeks were burning red by now; she had never felt so frustrated. Why was she showing herself so easily like this? She hated it. Hated him for making her like this.

Yet, Syaoran's teasing manner had disappeared. Carefully, he stepped closer and sighed. "Look, I didn't mean for things to go like that. I didn't mean it, okay? You're right, my brain didn't even know it was going to make my body kiss you until that very moment. I'm just…fed up with the whole situation, you know. I wasn't…prepared."

She avoided his gaze, but her ears were tuned to every word. Syaoran reached out as if to touch her arm, but Sakura shied away.

He dropped his arms. "Well, there's nothing else I can do! What do you want me to do, turn back time? Well I'm sorry, I can't do that! I kissed you already, and that's that! It's not a big deal, okay?"

"Not a big deal!" her voice was shrill, and it surprised her. Taking a breath, she tried again. "Not a big deal. Maybe not for you, since I guess all guys care about is physical pleasure. You wouldn't know what it's like, having someone kiss you like that. I feel like…" She made a disgusted noise. "Maybe if you'd kissed Tomoyo, she would feel differently. I don't know. You probably would have preferred that anyway. Why didn't you kiss her instead!"

"Look, I'm sorry you had to kiss a loser like me!" Syaoran nearly shouted. "You're right, I'm a loser, I'm a loser! I was all ready to tell her, and I couldn't tell her!"

Sakura's mouth clamped shut.

"And now, I'm not going to tell," he continued fiercely. "I can't tell Tomoyo anymore."

"Can't tell me what?"

Syaoran's head snapped up. Tomoyo was standing alone at the doorway, peeking curiously in. "What can't you tell me, Syaoran?" she asked.

"Ah…that's…" he fumbled for a moment. "I…uh…well." He glanced at Tomoyo, who had begun to advance into the room, and he quickly looked elsewhere.

"Well?" Tomoyo was wearing that gentle smile of hers. Sakura could almost visibly make out the tension rising between the two. She wished with all her might that Syaoran would just confess now, let spill his silly little secret so the two could live happily ever after off in the hills somewhere. And yet… She gritted her teeth. How annoying. Did they have to do this now, in front of her…?

"Well…I…I asked Sakura out on a date," finished Syaoran lamely.

Sakura's eyes widened. Yet another lie? That coward. She glared seethingly while he stared down at the floor, waiting for the silence to dissipate. Oh, the boy had some nerve.

Tomoyo's tinkling laugh broke through the loud silence. "Oh, is that all?" Smiling, she patted Syaoran's arm. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. You know you can trust me!"

Nodding numbly, Syaoran sneaked a sheepish glance at Sakura. She glared daggers at him.

"Ah! Well. I guess I should probably go! I'm very sorry for interrupting things," Tomoyo laughed embarrassedly. "See you guys later, then!" Waving at Syaoran, then Sakura, she retreated and left the two alone once again.

Sakura whirled on him at once. "Are you stupid!" she hissed. "You've just made things worse!"

Giving her a tired look, Syaoran headed toward the turtle tank without answering.

"Listen to me!" she demanded, swatting him across the back.

Syaoran caught her hand from behind and swiveled around to face her. The suddenly serious look in his eyes froze Sakura in her tracks.

"Go out with me, Sakura," he whispered.

"Idiot!" she snarled immediately, throwing his hand aside. Without looking back, she grabbed her backpack and umbrella and clattered out of the room. Down the hall she skittered, ignoring the raised heads of students by their lockers. Classroom doors flew by, only a multi-colored blur. There. She thumped open the heavy door and felt the cold, rainy air envelope her body once again.

The icy raindrops were blessedly welcome on her burning cheeks.

----

After school, the skies were still unrelentingly pouring down rain. Sakura gazed out at the wet, miserable scene before her from under the umbrella. Which scene was worse; this, or the one waiting for her at home? Well, better to be warm and dry, at least. Nodding to herself grimly, she tightened her grip on the umbrella handle and started out across the school campus.

At the school gate, she came upon a surprise: Tomoyo, Eriol, and Syaoran were huddled together in conversation. Oh, hadn't she seen enough of them today? Exhaling with frustration, she decided she would try her best to creep past them without stirring attention.

She hadn't come within five feet of the gate when Eriol called out, "Ah, here she is!"

Sakura's heart sank. There was no way out now.

"Come!" Tomoyo motioned with her hand, and Sakura came reluctantly. Syaoran was doing the utmost to avoid her now, she noticed. All the better.

"I've heard that you two are planning to go on a date," Eriol began. "Well actually, Tomoyo told me." He grinned, and Tomoyo unsuccessfully suppressed a giggle. Why were those two so cheerful? wondered Sakura, shivering. Syaoran certainly looked more and more uncomfortable each minute.

"You see," Tomoyo broke in. "We wondered if you might like to go on a double date with us?"

Sakura nearly groaned aloud. She shot a venomous glare at Syaoran, whose eyes had closed in careful composure. What a coward. What was she supposed to say?

Sensing hesitation, Tomoyo took Sakura's hand warmly. "Please, won't you come? I'm also a little nervous about being with Eriol alone," she confided. "I know you must understand that too! If we're all together, it'll be a lot more fun! Don't you agree?"

That nearly did it. Tomoyo didn't mean any harm. As Sakura looked into her beautiful dark eyes, she couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth. "Ok," she whispered, bowing her head.

"Wonderful!" Tomoyo clapped her hands gleefully. "Oh, I'm so happy. And I've got it all planned out too! The weather's supposed to be lovely on Saturday, so we'll go to the beach! I'll bring my camera, and then we can go on roller coasters and buy cotton candy…" She went on and on. And suddenly, Sakura wondered what she had just gotten herself into.

----

Just as Tomoyo had predicted, the weather was perfect on Saturday. Sitting in Tomoyo's limousine, Sakura watched the power lines loop past. The sky was cloudless except for a few stray puffs in the distance. Sakura counted them in her mind. Five.

"Hey," Syaoran murmured quietly, giving her a gentle dig in the side. Leaping up, Sakura glared at him and hissed, "Don't talk to me."

He ignored her. "Did you tell your parents that you're going on a date?"

"No, of course not," she retorted indignantly.

With that, Syaoran seemed to be satisfied. He turned on his side and lapsed into silence again.

"And did you tell your parents?" questioned Sakura, unable to resist.

"No," Syaoran laughed shortly. "They're not around to tell."

"Syaoran lives alone," said Tomoyo, turning around to look at the two. "Very impressive, isn't he?" She winked at Sakura.

"Not at all," Syaoran mumbled, sinking down lower in his seat. Chuckling, Tomoyo turned back around and leaned her head lightly against Eriol's shoulder. Sakura curiously watched Syaoran's face change colors. This boy…she had thought him to be the simple, straightfoward type, but he was actual filled with one surprise after another. Impulsively, she opened her mouth to ask where his parents lived. But at the sight of his brooding form, hunched over against the opposite window, she thought better of it and kept her silence.

And the silence continued until a salty scent in the air alerted Sakura that the ocean must be near. She hadn't come here in ages. Come to think of it, she hadn't been to the beach since Touya left for college. Dad was always so busy…and the thought of Midori taking her anywhere fun was laughable. She smiled. Even if this was to be an awkward situation, perhaps she should make the best of it. How often could she get out of the house like this, anyway?

Tomoyo caught Sakura's eye and smiled back at her. "Lovely day, isn't it?" Sakura nodded in full agreement. Maybe she could pretend to be like those normal teenagers at school, and these were her group of friends. No great hurt in pretending, was there?

The limo rolled to a stop, and they all climbed gratefully out of the vehicle, into the warm sunlight. Dotted with sunbathers, surfers, and children shrieking with laughter, the beach laid invitingly out before them. On the opposite side of the street, a small theme park stretched along the perimeter of a long wooden boardwalk, and a brown, rickety-looking roller coaster rose up from amongst the bustle. The cool salty wind of the ocean was soaked within every inch of all this. Sakura closed her eyes and raised her face to the sun, breathing in deeply.

"Where shall we go first, beach or roller coasters?" Eriol asked, grinning.

"Beach!" cried Tomoyo, just as Syaoran shouted, "Roller coasters!"

Laughing, Eriol turned to Sakura. "And where do you want to go?"

She shrugged. "I don't mind either way."

Eriol looked at her for a moment, then nodded. "We'll go on rides first, and then down to the beach for a romantic stroll at sunset. How does that sound?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

"Fine with me!" Tomoyo agreed. "Syaoran?"

Sakura noted with amusement that he certainly didn't seem happy with the romantic stroll part of the schedule. However, Tomoyo nudged him when he didn't say anything, and he quickly nodded.

Half an hour later, past the ticket booths, restrooms, and crowds of people, the four approached the entrance to a tall, brown coaster. Tomoyo, Eriol, and Syaoran had already stepped into the line, but Sakura hesitated.

"What's wrong?" asked Syaoran.

"You guys go ahead," she replied quietly.

"What?"

"Go, just go!" she muttered, motioning him forward quickly. Tomoyo and Eriol were already standing further up the line.

"What are you talking about? You can't just stand around there alone!" Syaoran started to reach for her arm.

Backing away stubbornly, Sakura's eyes met Tomoyo's as she trotted back to the entrance. "What is it, Sakura?"

She bit her lip. "I…don't like big roller coasters."

"Ah…" Tomoyo nodded slowly. "I see. Don't you want to at least give it a try? We'll all be there with you, Sakura!"

Sakura shook her head.

"Actually…" Eriol moved Syaoran aside gently and stepped out of the entrance gate. "I don't feel like riding coasters today either. You two go ahead, Tomoyo. I'll keep Sakura company."

"Oh?" Tomoyo looked doubtfully at them. "Well…"

"It'll be fine!" smiled Eriol, ushering her forward. "Go on, enjoy the ride!"

Casting one last glance over her shoulder, Tomoyo headed back toward the line. "Come on then, Syaoran." With a slightly disgruntled look at Sakura, Syaoran took off as well.

Sakura watched their retreating backs as the sound of their footsteps faded into the general theme park noises in the air. She turned slowly to Eriol, who was watching her with a small smile. "Miss him already?"

She flushed. "No, I don't." The sunshine glinted annoyingly off of his glasses rim. "So…now what?"

"Now that I've offered to keep you company, that's exactly what I plan to do," Eriol answered smoothly. "So you don't fancy roller coasters, huh?" He started to walk, and Sakura trotted a bit to catch up to him.

"That's right," she said flatly. "I don't see what's the fun in plunging down a hundred feet and screaming like a banshee the entire way."

To her great surprise, Eriol began to laugh uncontrollably. The sun sparked off his glasses as he laughed, clutching his sides. Sakura eyed him with annoyance. "What's so funny?" she demanded to know.

"It's…just…" he tried to speak between gasps. Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself down considerably. "Well…You said 'banshee'."

"Yes…?"

Eriol coughed. "That's so…old-fashioned," he said. As though that explained everything.

Sakura raised her eyebrow. "And is that…funny?"

"Yes," he smiled. "It is to me."

Sakura couldn't help it. She let out a quiet, unsure laugh, which built up and grew stronger as they laughed together. "You're weird!" she exclaimed. Eriol smiled knowingly in reply.

"By the way, what flavor Icee do you like?" he asked suddenly.

"Why?" Sakura said suspiciously.

"Cherry it is," Eriol laughed. "Wait here a moment, please."

Sakura released a huff of annoyance as Eriol went off toward a drink stand. Eriol was the one she knew least about so far, yet she was already beginning to like him. There was a casual confidence in him that set her at ease; she could see why Tomoyo had been so drawn to him. Of course. Compared to Syaoran, it was an easy choice between the two. Smiling smugly, she crossed her arms and waited.

In a minute, Eriol returned carrying two cups of Icee and a small bowl of ice cream. "Sit, shall we?" he indicated toward a white table nearby, and they sat. "Now then," he began. "This is for you…" He handed her the cherry Icee. "…and this is for…us." He smiled, setting down the ice cream.

Sakura's cheeks turned slightly pink. "Don't get any funny ideas."

Eriol laughed aloud. "Not at all, dear, not at all! It's a warm day, right? Ice cream is perfect for the occasion." Taking a plastic spoon, he dug into the smooth vanilla and chocolate swirls. "Here- say ahh!"

Keeping her lips firmly shut, Sakura turned her head to the side and began, "What do you think you're- mmflkgrh!" Eriol had taken advantage of her open mouth and stuffed in a spoonful of ice cream.

Swallowing, Sakura licked her lips clean of the sugary substance and glared. "Stop cheating on your girlfriend."

Eriol began to shake with laughter again. Sakura waited patiently until he stopped.

"It's not like that at all, you see.." he began.

"I don't see."

Smiling strangely, in an almost father-like manner, Eriol pointed to his chin and handed Sakura a napkin. "I think you're a sweet girl, Sakura," he said, watching her wipe up the stray drop of vanilla. "I'm absolutely delighted to have met you. However, Tomoyo really is the one that I love, no mistake about it."

Sakura watched him distrustfully, but there was a frank sincerity in his voice that made her pay closer attention.

"You're not like most other girls, I can see," he continued. "I like that very much. You see, I was at first somewhat worried that Tomoyo would not be able to let go of Syaoran. They've been good friends since childhood, you know."

Sakura nodded slowly.

"Well, now that you're here, I don't have to worry quite so much, do I?" Eriol exclaimed brightly. "And Tomoyo seems to like you as well."

"I…don't know what you mean…" Sakura trailed off wonderingly. Was he going where she thought he was…?

"Of course you do! It's Syaoran! You're such a perfect match for him," said Eriol, taking her hand in a fatherly manner.

"Oh, shut up!" she gasped, snatching her hand away. "Not this again! I don't even like that stupid-!"

But Eriol wasn't listening anymore. One ear glued to his cellphone, he was nodding and murmuring "Mmhm. Yes. I see. All right, that's fine. We'll meet you then." He clicked the phone shut. "That was Tomoyo. They've just finished the ride, and they've gotten in line for another roller coaster. So we've decided to meet later."

"Later?"

"Yes," Eriol smiled gleefully. "At the bumper cars, at five-thirty."

Five-thirty! Sakura checked her watch. Oh, kami-sama help her. Two whole hours alone with this strange guy.

----

But the two hours passed by relatively quickly and without incident. They had been spent mostly strolling along the boardwalk, trying out random prize-winning games and going on various kid's rides. Eriol hadn't seemed to mind riding the little green dragon coaster, although he looked ridiculously out of place with his long legs folded up before the bar. Sakura was beginning to have a little more respect for him, especially as he didn't mention Syaoran again.

And then two hours ended, and they were waiting in line at the bumper cars. At the front of the gate, Eriol checked the time and frowned. "They're late." He straightened up and searched over the crowd.

"Call them?" Sakura suggested. Eriol flipped open his cellphone, but the line ahead of them began to surge forward.

"Ah well. Too late," he shrugged. "Let's just go in, and we'll find them afterward."

The bumper cars were colorful and spacious enough to sit two. "Let's sit together," said Eriol.

Sakura nodded. "The blue one!" she pointed. Eriol scrambled ahead of her and jumped inside the blue car just as a little boy was trotting toward it. With Eriol inside, the boy's face crumpled, but Eriol just laughed and made a face at him, "Nyah you're too slow!"

"So mean!" Sakura admonished him, laughing. She bent down and patted the little boy on the head. "Sorry. Do you need help finding a different one?"

The boy only bursted into tears and ran off, weaving between legs. "Ah-!" Sakura looked off worriedly in the direction he had gone, but Eriol pulled her by the arm into the bumper car.

At the signal, the bumper cars all began to churn and rotate wildly at the controls of their drivers. Sakura had the wheel, and adrenaline tingled pleasantly through her veins as she maneuvered the little car through an ever-moving maze of contact. It had been so long since…since she felt the simplicity of being a kid again. She didn't have to care about any of tomorrow's worries, not at this moment. What a priceless feeling. Letting out a laugh, she sped forward.

Abruptly, she caught a flash of chestnut hair, and a blanket of inky black. Syaoran and Tomoyo were in a bumper car at the other end. "Look!" Sakura shouted above the noise. "It's them!"

"Shall we go?" Eriol called back.

"Yeah!" she cried. Their car surged forward, and Sakura managed to steer their way closer to the other two.

And suddenly, her hands seemed to freeze on the wheel by their own accord. Those two were sitting…so close together. No, their sides were even touching. Tomoyo's bare arm against his T-shirt sleeve. Nevermind that she was sitting fairly squished together with Eriol. Those two…she drew a breath. Their sunny laughter…the way Tomoyo ducked her head innocently against his shoulder when another car slammed into theirs…

Why did it look like they belonged together?

Sakura swung the steering wheel sharply to the left, and they turned around immediately. Once they reached the far end of the enclosure, she took her hand off the wheel. "You drive," she said, grinding her foot against the accelerator. Without questioning, Eriol did so. It was as though the light had suddenly flown out of her, and she didn't even understand why.

After the ride, she watched as Tomoyo laughingly got out of the car and pulled Syaoran up by the hand. "They're close, you see," Eriol said sadly.

Sakura jumped. She'd forgotten Eriol was standing next to her. Shrugging off her surprise, she announced, "I'm going to the bathroom," and walked off.

While washing her hands, she avoided looking at the mirror. Nothing pretty to see, anyway. She struggled briefly about whether she should return to the group, but worked out that there'd be no way for her to get home if she didn't go with them. Heaving a sigh, she started back.

"Sakura!" Tomoyo waved at her as she came into sight, then ran up excitedly and took her by the hand. "How was your time with Eriol? I hope he didn't make you feel uncomfortable or anything!"

Sakura laughed shortly. Yes! she mouthed at Eriol over Tomoyo's head. But at Tomoyo's questioning look, she immediately faked a smile. "Oh, it was great. We had a good time. Yeah."

"How wonderful!" Tomoyo clapped, looking genuinely glad. "Oh, I got some great footage of the rides Syaoran and I went on…I'll show them to you later when I've edited them! But I didn't get you or Eriol yet…hmm…"

Eriol took the opportunity to swoop in and grab Tomoyo's hand. "To the beach, shall we, dear?" Giggling, Tomoyo nodded and went off, seeming to forget about her filming. With a grin, Eriol winked at Sakura over his shoulder and indicated clutching someone's hand with his free one. Irritatedly, Sakura resisted the urge to shake her fist at him, and settled for a hard glare.

"So, uh," Syaoran cleared his throat. "You had a good time, then?"

Carefully looking out over the waters, Sakura nodded.

Syaoran bent down and sat on one of the wooden steps leading down to the sand. He picked at a few grains in the cracks between the wood. While Sakura was still wondering whether or not to sit down beside him, he straightened up again.

"Let's go," he said.

"Where?"

"The beach. Would you like to walk?"

"No." She refused him on impulse, without raising her head.

Syaoran sighed, looked down, glanced at her, and said, "You have to."

Silence.

Another sigh. "I mean, you don't have to, but I'd like it if you'd walk with me. Please."

At this, Sakura nodded ever so slightly. She followed his feet as they descended the wooden steps and padded out onto the warm, glinting sand. They walked on silently for a while. Sakura wondered if maybe he was watching Tomoyo and Eriol in the distance. She sure wouldn't bother herself to pick them out among the strolling couples.

Fingers brushed hers gently, and then Syaoran's hand was wrapped around hers. Sakura still didn't dare look at him, but she felt an involuntary thrill jolt through her arm at the touch. It was…strange.

But not uncomfortable enough to make her pull away.

"I'm sorry," he began awkwardly.

"Hmm?" she murmured.

"For all this."

"It's all right," said Sakura. Her hand was starting to feel unreal, like something not composed of earthly material. "I really did have fun today." Even though you weren't there most of the time, she didn't say.

Syaoran seemed to brighten a bit. "So did I." He swung the hand holding hers lightly.

I'll bet, thought Sakura grimly. With Tomoyo, the person you should be holding hands with right now.

"How's Eriol?" he asked suddenly.

"He's really nice, actually," she replied, letting a bit of warmth escape into her voice. "He's a good person. I can see why Tomoyo likes him." There, let him interpret that how he liked.

Syaoran's hand seemed to tighten on hers, but it could have been her imagination; the tightness disappeared in a moment. When she sneaked a glance at his face, there was a smile, illuminated orange by the fading sunlight. She couldn't quite tell if it was genuine or not.

Sakura wondered vaguely why he was still holding on to her hand.

And a huge wage rushed up, frothing salty white over her ankles.

Letting out a small scream, Sakura skittered away from the water, letting go of Syaoran's hand in the process. "Freezing!" she gasped. Syaoran was laughing at her now, but she was too shocked at the sudden cold to care. Sopping wet, her sneakers had become the same color gray as the very edge of the dusky sky.

"Ugh…" Looking down at her shoes with dismay, Sakura scrambled up to dry sand.

"What are you doing? Take 'em off!" exclaimed Syaoran. When she just looked at him, he chuckled and began to attack her shoelaces with his own hands.

"Hey, get off! I'll do it myself!" cried Sakura. Planting herself down on the warm sand, she kicked off her wet sneakers, then peeled off her socks with disgust.

Syaoran laughed. "Don't make such a face! Look, I'll do it too." He pulled off his own shoes, and in a moment, the two were padding along the beach with shoes dangling from their hands.

Without warning, Syaoran had her at the wrist and was pulling her out into the deeper water. Sakura yelped, icy water crashing over her knees. "Stop! Stop!" she cried, trying to shake his grip off.

"No!" he grinned evilly, yanking her out further still.

Panicking, Sakura suddenly lost her balance and flailed her way headlong into Syaoran's chest, sending them both into the waves with a crash.

Fortunately, the water was shallow enough so that Sakura could sit up, but Syaoran sputtered out of the cold water, completely wet from head to toe. "You clumsy…!" he exclaimed. But Sakura was already searching the water wildly, not paying any attention to him.

"My shoes!" she cried, almost in tears. "Find my shoes, you idiot!"

----

"We'll wait for you," Eriol whispered as the limousine pulled up in front of Sakura's house in the darkness.

With a nod, Syaoran gently lifted Sakura out from her seat and started up the driveway toward the door. Heh. Who knew she'd fall asleep that quickly on the ride home? Well, after all that stress with the shoes, which were still slightly damp but safely on her feet now, she'd probably overexpended her energy. Syaoran grinned. She wasn't as heavy as he'd expected.

He rang the doorbell and stood back, holding her securely. A few seconds later, the door creaked open. It was a middle-aged man, tall and wearing glasses, with quite a few silvery hairs framing his brow. "Ah, Sakura!" he said quietly. And though there were a few wrinkles folding at the corners of his eyes and mouth, Syaoran could detect the man's gentle kindness.

"Mr…Kinomoto." Syaoran bent his head briefly. He would've bowed with more of his body, were he not carrying a sleeping girl. "She…ah..fell asleep on the way."

"I can see that," Sakura's father chuckled softly. "Well, I'll.."

"I'll bring her in," Syaoran said at once. "That is…if I may come in?"

"Ah." The older man looked mildly surprised, but he nodded and opened the door. "Please, come in."

Sakura was starting to feel a bit heavier now, after an extended period of time. Grunting lightly under the effort, Syaoran stepped inside and followed Mr. Kinomoto's directions toward the girl's room. It was the last one down a dark, gloomy-looking hallway. He nudged the door open with his foot and glanced around quickly.

Books and papers strewn across the floor. Clothing piled up on the bed. Grinning, Syaoran laid Sakura down in what free space the bed had. He hadn't expected this kind of mess from such a strict, cold girl. Gathering armfuls of shirts, he deposited them onto a chair nearby and straightened Sakura's sleeping position on the bed.

Carefully, so as not to wake her, he edged the blanket out from underneath the sleeping girl and pulled it gently over her body.

With a smile, he patted the blanket reassuringly and stood up. "Sweet dreams, cherry-blossom girl."

On second thought, he glanced at the bedroom door. No one.

Expression serious now, he bent down and brushed Sakura's forehead with his lips.

She didn't stir, but Syaoran still felt a tingle of embarrassment. Oh well, it wasn't as though he'd stolen a kiss this time, right? It was only a forehead kiss. And anyway, she'd likely never know.

Lost in his thoughts as he gazed down at her, Syaoran didn't notice a woman standing in the shadows of the door behind him.

-------

**Author's Notes:**

First, I must apologize for being gone so long! I must admit, I think I'd almost given up on this story. Disinterest, combined with college applications, kept me from really working on it. However, I'm beginning to think I should finish it. I hope you will stick me and continue giving your helpful feedback! This extra-long chapter is just for you, my dear loyal readers.

Haha, this chapter began and ended with a kiss! How funny…


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